she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
