and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
