I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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