She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
