bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
