So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize