I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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