If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
