question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
either way he was missing a nipple.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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