its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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