I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
