turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
