she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
