Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Randomize
