If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
