and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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