Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
How's work?
Spinning.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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