I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
