They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
COCAINE IS GR8
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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