Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
