Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just gargled with NyQuil
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