why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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