jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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