I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
