We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
