But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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