party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
