smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
