This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Dick very happy bro
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
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