Where are you?
In a non slutty way
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
