Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
