i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
