all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
