One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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