She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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