He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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