hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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