big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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