Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
