I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize