I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
