I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
