i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
