grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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