We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize