I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
