No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
