Well douche your snatch and let's go!
accomplished twins. life is a go
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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