honey bunches of taint.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
you inspire me to be a worse person
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
