ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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