im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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