Please, let me fuck your mom
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
