can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
