Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
