Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
