She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize