are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
