Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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