cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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