so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
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