happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
