I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Randomize
