Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
