I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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